I feel it in my fingers, I feel it in my toes…

In our house on Christmas morning, we used to get up in the dark. My sister and I, both pretty blind without our glasses, used to stumble out into the living room lens-less, to keep from “cheating” and looking at the presents before everyone was awake. There was a certain thrilling mystery to bumping around in the cold dark, trying to feel rather than  see what we’d been given. As we’ve gotten older, the early morning wake-ups have been replaced by an adolescent love of sleep, at least on my part. We got up this year at a dignified 8 am, ready to do Christmas.

First come the stockings. Stocking presents are traditionally left unwrapped and tend towards the exciting. The year, for example, that I got the tiny ride-on firetruck  complete with siren (a year now, alas,  quite far away in my memory), the firetruck was laid out in all its glory with the stocking presents. After we’ve emptied out all the apples and cashews (both traditional stocking fillers) and thoroughly examined unwrapped presents, we tear into the wrapping papered under-tree loot. It is a frenzy of wrapping paper for a while, and then it’s all opened and we find ourselves sitting, suddenly hungry for breakfast, in the middle of a sea of bright paper and newly-naked presents.

At this point, Dad breaks out the traditional Christmas scotch, Mom makes breakfast (usually something delicious with more butter and/or bacon on it that is generally considered responsible), and we settle into my favorite part of Christmas.

There’s something sort of supernaturally calm about Christmas day, a release of all the usual pressures of life. No one has to clean, no one has to work, and no one has to be anywhere. We all hang around the house doing just exactly as we like. It’s a day totally without focus, and yet somehow I never get bored. In my perfect universe, every day would be Christmas, but not for the presents–only for the total peace that follows.

Merry (late) Christmas, and a Happy New Year…

By far my favorite part of having a website is reading my statistics, and the best part of that is the things by which my website has been searched for. Cause dude, some of you guys are looking for the WEIRDEST things. The highlights from the past year, with commentary:

• “bentham webcam ucl” – Sorry, no live webcam links, never gone to UCL, and have no idea where (or what) “bentham” is. I could probably find that out on google, but I might end up back here, so I’ll refrain.
• “spiderweb decorations made out of an umbrella” – See, this sounds like an interesting concept, but besides my overwhelming love of umbrellas, I’m really not qualified in this field. I bet you’d cut the fabric off the frame, but really that’s a guess. Try Martha Stewart?
• “what is a reasonable woman?” – Interesting question. I mean, I’d like to assume that I am a reasonable woman, but I’m sure I could find people who’d tell you quite the opposite. Why are you looking for this woman? Am I settling a bet? Are you on a quest for higher understanding?
• “mel gibson” – While I certainly appreciate Mel Gibson (especially in Maverick), he’s definitely not here. You will be very disappointed with me. Also, you must REALLY like Mel Gibson, cause I’m pretty sure I’d be about the last thing google would bring up on that search.
• “stanford september 20 2005 freshman dorm” – Now, this I might be able to tell you something about, but you’re going to have to get more specific. I think I might have moved into my freshman dorm room on that day…are you stalking me? Cause that’s creepy, and unnecessary.
• “my peace lilly’s leaves are turning brown” – DUDE. So were mine! But then she died and I put her in the dumpster. While this solution didn’t exactly fix the brown leaves situation, it did remove it from my immediate surroundings pretty effectively.
• “my food is problematic” – I’m so sorry. What has it been doing? Running away? Turning pink? Invading North Korea? Do you need a doctor? In case of emergency, please hang up and dial 9-1-1.

Also, much more bafflingly, I’ve been occasionally linked to by some *ahem* less than savory sites. All I can think of is that this is a result of the completely out of control spamming on my guestbook, so I’ve deleted it. But still, creepy, and for the people who click those links, I’m sure disappointing.

The world is full of beautiful things…

…and today, among them we have an updated cupcakenation main  page, an updated advent calendar, and a charming haiku about fish. Head on over there to check it out.

Everything here has been totally frantic. I’m in my last week of classes before finals (affectionately known by faculty as “dead week” despite the fact that we still have class and homework, so the only logic behind calling it “dead week” is that it’s intended to highlight the feeling I have deep deep in my soul when I think about NEXT week), and I have SO MUCH WORK. Capitals don’t begin to capture the sheer volume of stuff I have to get done. It’s really disgusting. I always forget how much I hate this week every quarter, and then it sneaks back up on me and suddenly I find myself trying to decide whether or not I’d still pass if I just hid out for a week and went into some sort of preservative coma until it’s all over. Unfortunately, the answer to that question is nearly always “no.” The universe hates me this week.

Strangely, however  distinctly I feel my soul dying, the rest of me hasn’t yet kicked into panic mode. I sit, calmly, thinking about how screwed I am, doing nothing until the last possible moment when it finally kicks in that yes, I really do have only 5 more hours until it’s due and it’s going to take at least 3 of those to do. This instinctive response to pressure by becoming less productive, while it can temporarily shield me, is not a strong long term plan. I’m going to have to buckle down, like, NOW. So farewell, sweet procrastination. Here we go. Dead week be damned.